"In order to become myself I must cease to be what I always thought I wanted to be, and in order to find myself I must go out of myself, and in order to live I have to die. The reason for this is that I am born in selfishness and therefore my natural efforts to make myself more real and more myself, make me less real and less myself, because they revolve around a lie."
~ Thomas Merton

I can't help but realize that at times this is me. I lose sight of seeking the face of Christ and begin to pour all my focus into reshaping my character and going down a check list of spiritual practices that I feel will make me more holy. It is heartbreaking how easy it is to fall into this. In the light of who Christ is, His unfathomable love for us, and His gracious mercy; how can i be so easily distracted by myself? Because, as Merton says, "we were born in selfishness". It is part of our sin nature and what comes so natural to us. But I believe there is something strong enough to break that in me, and that is Jesus Christ and what was done on the cross. But if I don't make it a priority everyday to remember that sacrifice, that pure act of selflessness that is the basis of my faith, then I will get lost in my own journey for righteousness apart from the Lord, who says,

"There is no one righteous, not even one;.." (Romans 3:10)

I cannot find righteousness apart from God. And I am not to seek righteousness in the first place. I cannot earn anything and I am entitled to nothing. Paul asks "What do you have that you did not receive?"(1 Cor. 4:7)

"that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."(Philippians 3:8-9)

So it is in Christ that I am found, in Him where righteousness is found. It is by His grace that I am saved and sanctified; made more into His likeness everyday, which is not for my glory but His and His alone.