So once again this morning I delved into Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest", only this time, i stayed on the right schedule: July 5th (although I read the 4th as well). Maybe its me, or rather maybe its the Holy Spirit leading accordingly, but I am coming across literature that is paralleling my life right now.
So if you know me well, you know that I over analyze EVERYTHING and I'm a bit of a worrier; which i know its exactly NOT what the Lord would have me be; because its kind of the epitome of not trusting him. So Chambers was talking about worrying and fretting, and then about planning without God in mind; both things I have done in the last month (well really the worrying....yeah that's more like the last 24 years of my life). He said that "Fretting means getting ourselves 'out of joint' mentally or spiritually" and that "resting in the Lord is not dependent on our external circumstances, but on our relationship with God himself". That second one seems a bit like a "duh" doesn't it? And yet, in the last month, I found myself trying to plan and change my circumstances to create this perfect picture where I thought everything would fall into place well and that is where I would be able to rest in the Lord and seek him and be still. Ridiculous. As i think about it now, I almost have to laugh at my thought process in all of that. You cannot manipulate a situation to be a certain way in hopes of meeting Christ daily more favorably; you simply need to meet him as you are, and allow him to meet you where you are.
All of that being said, somewhere in the last two weeks or so, the Holy Spirit just kind of righted my thinking i guess. I realized that I was planning things, and then asking the Lord about them instead of simply seeking Him and allowing Him to reveal himself to me. In response to that realization; I've been able to surrender (by the grace of God - definitely not me) to that; to lay down my plans and manipulations, and to understand that God is calling me to rest and wait on Him. Which, lets be honest, is not all that easy because we are human and we like to have a plan and to execute it in a quick and orderly fashion. But there is no growth in that, not in rushing through things, or following a how-to list. We must wait, and trust.
"For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." ~ Habbakkuk 2:3
Growth comes in that sweet surrender to a Father who loves us and knows what is best for us; surrender to His will and His plan, not our own; surrender to letting go of our fears and anxieties about the future, and simply waiting on Him. Something Chambers wrote really stuck with me, he said "Our Lord never worried and was never anxious because His purpose was never to accomplish His own plans but to fulfill God's plans." And the reason that we are able to rest fully and let go of worry when we are purposefully trying to fulfill God's plans, is that they are HIS plans, he is in control. Remember truth, hold fast to it, Christ loves us and "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, and who have been called according to his purpose."(Romans 8:28)
So most of you know that I worked at Lake Champion for almost four years. And a huge part of our job/responsiblity to our work crew was ensuring that we started and closed our days with scripture and prayer. I loved when Bob (Davis, my boss) would share; he just really held fast to truth, and to what scripture promised and spoke to us. One of his favorite passages in scripture is Psalm 37:3-5:
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him..." And verse 7 follows with "Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him; do not fret..."
Bob always said it was almost like a formula: Trust, Delight, Commit. That those were three very straightforward things that we could do in response to who Christ is and who we want him to be in our lives. With trust, comes peace, and an ability to rest in those safe pastures; will the absolute faith that God is who he says he is and he has us in his hands. When we are delighting in the Lord, when this is truth:
"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him" (Psalm 62:5)
then our desires line up with Him because we are abiding in him and the Holy Spirit is at work within us, shaping and changing our hearts so that the things we would long for, become those that Christ himself has put in our hearts. And what more can we offer our Savior than our lives? When we commit ourselves to the God of salvation, when we surrender our lives over and commit our ways to him, in the exact way we are designed to; well simply put:
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"(1 Corinthians 2:9)
I guess in all of this, what I am learning, or rather trying to learn, is that I need to simply seek Christ. I need to sit at the foot of the throne of God and wait paitently for him to move. I need to stop planning, stop orchestrating, and simply "BE". Easier said than done, and yet, I don't I have felt more strongly or clearly about anything in my life. there is a peace and I know with all of my heart that this place, at His feet with my head bowed and my heart opened up to him, is exactly where he would want me.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33)
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